Had to stop work now have no money
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I honestly just thought I was making his life easier he’s a really good dad to our daughter but he makes it very clear that he’s the bread winner and we should respect him but I feel like I don’t have a say in anything at all he can just do what he wants go to pub, lads holidays etc and if I say I’m not happy about something he says start paying your way I never wanted to live in the house we do he choose it and payed for it himself it took me a long time to settle here and the bills are expensive so I know he’s under pressure but when I say I’ll try and help he says it’s not even a drop in the ocean. He is now building another house that we have to move into again something I don’t want to do but have no choice he come in from the pub tonight at midnight and called me a letch basically said he works all these hours to provide for us and I’m ungrateful and that I could never manage without him. I’m so upset I haven’t sleept all night I honestly feel like I’m worthless 😣
This is financial abuse. You're not worthless ❤️
This is definitely abuse, he doesn’t seem to care about you at all. The fact you have to ask for money rather than him have a joint bank account that you can both use is just controlling. He uses his job as excuse for his shitty behaviour and it sounds like he’s whittled you down and made you believe you’re not worth anything. My advice is leave, yes you might have nothing right now but you can build it up, if you’ve got family you can go to I’d do that and get him to pay child support. You’ll meet someone that you won’t have to beg for the bare minimum and will treat you and your children how you deserve to be treated. Hope you’re okay! Here if you need to talk
I feel like I’m just a tag along in his life I have no say in anything it’s like I just follow him around asking for money now like a burden he’s not here a lot at the moment because hes working late and when it’s me and my little girl I feel calm as soon as he’s home I’m on edge. I’ve been going to my mums for tea every night because I dont dare ask for any more money to do a food shop because he’s given me a budget this week for his family’s Xmas presents that I’ve spent now we have no food in and he just grabs food when he’s out I can’t even provide the bare minimum for my kids it’s shameful 😩
Go to your mums and stay there. Let him have his nice new build house to himself, let him experience life on his own because it sounds like he deserves it. Keep your head up. It's got to be hard with the position you're in. Don't let him abuse you like he is.
I agree with all other comments and this is 100% emotional and finacial abuse. Are you married? If so, you are entitled to half of asserts regardless if it's on his name. Even if you are not married, given you have lived together, you will be entitled to asserts. He will also will have to pay child support. Please know what he is saying isn't true. You are not worthless. In fact, you are an incredibly strong person to have put up with abuse and raise your child under such poor circumstances. Please go to your mum and tell her how this man is treating you and stay with her if you can. Please reach out to me if you need any help. My husband is a solicitor so I can provide some assistance if you need any legal advice xx sending lots of love to you ❤️ please know you deserve so much more
Thank you I feel so stupid no we are not married it makes me really sad because all my friends are getting married and engaged and he won’t with me I think it’s because he’s worried I would be entitled to his money but I told him I would sign a prenuptial, my name is no where near any of his houses or assets and I wouldn’t try do that because he’s worked so hard for it all I just need help getting through the next couple of months while I can’t work I drive his car but can’t even afford to put fuel in it if he hasn’t filled it up it’s so embarrassing I just don’t know what to do anymore and I’m going to be having a baby in the next 2 weeks 😩 xx
This is emotional and financial abuse. Do you have family nearby? Can you go and stay with them? This is not a relationship.
It's not just his money though! He gets to work and make money because you stay at home and make his life comfortable by cooking, cleaning and looking after children! The audacity of this man to gaslight you to think he is doing you a favour when in reality it's the other way around. Please do reach out to me if you want to talk to somebody because no woman should feel this way especially near to her due date!
Wow! First of all, how dare he tell you that you should feel lucky that he pay bills!!that is the bare minimum! If anything, he should feel lucky that you are raising the children, doing all house work etc and not even on the morgage! Literally you have made his life easier in every sense. Just because he pay the bills, doesn't mean he can treat you badly and call you lazy etc. What about everything you are doing? Where is the appreciation. I am sorry to say but your partner sounds like a complete narcissist and a very selfish man. No good man will behave the way he is behaving. Also why do you think you have not contributed and he should the property, car on his name ? You stay home raising his children, looking after the house and everything. So you do deserve it.