Would you be upset if your partner spent Christmas at his parents the day you got discharged from the hospital?
Show your support
You’re not overreacting - that’s a very weird thing to do when it’s your first baby. However, if it still hurts a year on, please discuss your feelings again with him and don’t sweep it under the carpet.
Ngl if my partner did that after I had just gotten home from hospital with our daughter after a c section he would be gone, bags packed, things outside, gone. The fact his family didn't tell him to go home to his new baby and partner speaks volumes. You've got every right to still feel angry and upset about it. I'm so sorry you had to go through that as a brand new mum x
What!
My mum stayed with me during the day so I wasn’t alone, but eventually, she felt like she needed to leave and not overstay to let me rest! But for him to return so late? It still makes me feel sick
@Asia thank you, I have multiple times but wanted to see if other ladies felt like this was something as serious as I feel it is too
@Darcey thank you! I know. I have been annoyed with my MIL about it but essentially it does come down to my partner to have left to come and support me. A hard pill to swallow!
That’s appalling! You have every right to be upset. I honestly don’t think I could forgive him
Wow, I'm surprised you're still married to him after pulling such a shitty stunt as that!
I tried to see it from his perspective—maybe he thought, "Her mum is with her, so she's fine." But since he came back so late, it was hard for me to understand his point of view.
Nothing can justify it, you’ve had major surgery, just given birth to your first child and he wants to spend it elsewhere!
Yeah, not cool. Same week MAYBE. But same DAY??? No. Theres no excuse for that.
@Rebecca Everytime I think it’s in the past, try and move on- I just can’t seem to shrug this one off 😑
Wow!!! No offence but how selfish is he?! Why would he not be so excited to spend the day at home with you and his new baby??
@Emma I guess getting fed at his mums was more important
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
Maybe that was a good thing let you and baby rest up from being in hospital. He wanted you to have a day of quiet. But on the other hand he should have at least checked in on you or at least come home after like 3 hours
Definitely not a normal thing to do! You aren’t overreacting at all, you just had a major surgery and your partner, in this time, should be your main source of support! What a crap thing for him to have done, and for his family to have let it happen as well!
@Faustine he was gone for about 8 hours 🫤
How has he been with his child over the last year? I am absolutely baffled that a brand new parent wouldn’t want to spend the first day home from hospital with their baby. It’s great your mom was there to help but as the father and your partner that should have been a precious and memorable day together and he made it a sad memory for you.
They would all be thrown out. None of his family members said hey? wtf are you doing here? Why are you not home with the woman who just had major surgery to birth ur baby?!!
If this was my son, I would have packed him some food and sent him on his way, to support his wife and new baby during such a difficult time. Very selfish of him in my opinion. Is he usually quite selfish?
@Faustine yes but can’t test if you have to get up and care for a baby. And when you have a baby you need the fathers support
@Lola the funny thing is, his mum had a c section with him!
I would have seriously questioned his character
You are not wrong, not are you overreacting. That's a terrible thing he did,doesn't matter that your mom was there, he should have come home even if you insisted he stay with his family (for sure splitting his time, allowing him to be with his family as planned but then him coming home to spend time with you and your new baby at a decent hour!) I think it would be good to talk with a therapist about it, journal, write letters to husband you don't send just to get all your feelings out. Then if there is something you feel you still need to say or resolve with your husband, have that conversation with him. Try to make the conversation about a current day issue instead of him messing up a year ago. He'll probably hear you better that way. A counselor can help you work on how to say things if you need ❤️
@Lola that’s what I’m thinking. What MOTHER would support this behavior?? I would be talking shit to my own son making him go back to his NEW baby and recovering wife.
I want to say thank you to all of you wonderful mothers for your support on this ♥️
@Jessica I’ve told him so many times how it made me feel! But sometimes I feel it’s one of those things he will never understand as he didn’t go through the birth etc
Disgusting behaviour. I really hope he’s been a wonderful partner and dad since as I couldn’t get over this!
I’d be LIVID.
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
It was not cool from his side, but since it was a year ago it seems petty to bring it up now. You should have argued with him then, now I would just let it be honestly
How on earth did his family not tell him to go to be with you and his child? Like wtf?! Definitely not ok, especially after a section
While men will never truly understand going through birth they should at least feel empathy from watching you go through it and that empathy should make them want to stay by their partners side. How would he feel if he had a major surgery and you just dropped him off at home after and then left for 8 hours to go see your parents.
What is wrong with your partner? Sorry but he should not have left your side. He should have been taking care of you!! Also like why wouldn’t he want to spend his kid’s first day on Earth with them!!???
What an absolute asshole. If my son even thought about doing that I'd feel like a failure as a parent
Sorry, is that a joke? What type of hubby would do that?
It was a bad thing to do - last year. You shouldn't still be thinking about it unless he's planning on doing the same thing this year. Otherwise, it's just going to ruin your Christmas this year as well.
Goodness me I am so sorry that you had this experience! My partner was invaluable those first couple of days after my C-section and I really think I would have struggled to care for my newborn alone given the fact that I was in pain and needing support for myself. I would definitely have a conversation with your partner about this because it demonstrates a clear lack of support and a clear prioritization of himself. Again, so sorry
My hubby didn’t leave my side! For days! (Unless I needed alone time of course but that’s not my point!) I cannot believe how savage that was. No wonder it’s still painful to think about.
WHAT??!!???!!!
@Claire it really made the early postpartum period difficult for me
Whoa. No, I'd be so fucking angry and hurt. His family ALLOWED that though? Like you got home that day with your newborn and he left you guys at home alone?!?! He should have stayed at home with you. If anything, he could have asked ifnspme family could bring dinner and come for xmas but to just dip out? That's disgusting. It was a year ago. But you're still hurting i think maybe counseling could help you both. You haven't forgive that. That would be hard for me to as it would make me question my partner and their priorities.
No he definitely is the as**ole. You and your daughter are his family now. Speaking from emergency c section experience, He should have be with you and your little one. You guys could have easily did a skype call to check in with his family members for the holidays, but the fact that he didn't spend yalls first Christmas as new time parents and your daughters 1st Christmas (even thought she wont remember) doesn't sit right. You're definitely not overreacting.
wtf!!!! Yes?!!! You and his daughter are his family and you should be priority.
His behaviour is actually shocking 😮 I would be beyond upset
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
to connect with women at a similar stage in life.
Trusted by 5M+ women
The fact that you’re still with this person makes me think he has already destroyed your self esteem because I personally love myself too much to stay with someone who leaves me and our baby at home right after a c section just so he can have a great christmas day with his parents and siblings. My spouse could never.
Yeah I wouldn’t be happy, actually I wouldn’t have stood for it at all: things change when you have a child , you are now his family and he should have been with you!. However it’s now a year in and you have told him how you feel I think it’s time to forget and move forward and make fond memories for Christmas x
If my brother did that my mum would send him right back out the door with food for all to eat at home with his partner! How rude and disrespectful
I feel like I’d be okay if he left but he’d get 2 hours max to be gone before I get pissed. Oh and he better bring me food back!
I’d talk it through with your partner now and explain how that made and makes you feel still, that it really wasn’t ok for you and that it still bothers you now. I really think stuff like that needs a discussion and understanding from his side and an apology. A C-section is major surgery and surely he saw what it did to your body/ mobility… you’re really vulnerable as a new mum post C-section and need help- at least I did… I get it that it comes up now again when you maybe will see his family again too (who didn’t send him home to you).
Ummm what the crap 😂😂😂 Like why would he do thatttt