Advice please!!

I didn’t leave my first born until he was 2 and a half, I just didn’t feel ready! If you don’t want to go, please don’t feel pressured into it!

You are doing great!!! Your MIL has nothing todo with your decisions about your LO. Just say no and let her say whatever she wants

Absolutely not! Stand your ground and tell you MIL to stop pushing the issue

not unreasonable at all!! i still haven't left my 2 year old and definitely wouldn't be leaving forr 3 nights the first time (no judgement to anyone who would, just not for me). don't go if you don't want to xx

tell her to kindly fuck off. i have an almost 3 year old and ive never left her behind or my other two unless ive absolutely needed too (literally a hospital visit when my vagina got infected after birthing my son, and birthing her sister). it’s up to YOU when you feel ready to leave your child with someone else for some you time, personally i just can’t do that and don’t see myself doing it for a long time😅. you could message her something like “thank you for encouraging me to go, but i don’t want too, i don’t want to spend time away from my baby, and that’s completely fine and my decision, thanks again!”

Can you ask your other half to speak to their mother and tell her to back off? I would hope that your SIL would understand and would hate that you feel this way

@Rachel SIL also thinks that I should be going because she came to mine but she doesn’t have any children! Other half has tried but they both just keep going on about it.

Thank you everyone! Feeling so much better knowing that I’m not being unreasonable! Should also have added its MIL and SIL pushing, not that it makes it any better! Definitely just going to stand my ground.

I wouldn’t leave my almost 2 year old let alone my by then 6 month old! Nobody has the right to tell you to leave your babies

If you are not ready...you're not ready. Thats it. She can feel however she wants about it at the end of the day she has been able to make decisions for her and her children until they were grown enough to make their own. You'll be doing the same. My little one is 22mths and I've still not left them for more than a few hrs and def have not left them overnight.

I have been through this with both my girls, my eldest is now 3 and I’ve only left her 2/3 times overnight and they’ve mainly been with her dad. PLEASE just follow your gut, if you don’t feel comfortable that is absolutely ok!! You are allowed to just want to be with your lovely baby that you’ve spent all this time growing, carrying and now being mummy to!! It’s a hen night, it’s nothing compared to being at home with your baby x

I went to my best friends hen when my first was around that age (closer to 5 months), but my husband travelled too and I hopped back and forth to feed her and I stayed in a hotel with them rather than the air bnb the hen group were staying in. This 100% isn't an option for everyone but as a first time mum also EBF it was the only way I could attend. I also know though that if I thought it wasn't feasible to go my friend wouldn't have had an issue. No one has the right to dictate when you should or shouldn't leave your child. We've got a wedding in Ireland in September and I know I wouldn't be able to leave my youngest for the weekend at 11 months old so we're bringing my parents over too as it's a child free wedding so they can babysit and I can get back to the kids easily if needed 😂 again though I understand that's an option not available to everyone. Basically you're definitely in no way being unreasonable, and I'd be seriously annoyed with anyone that thinks you are X

i have the same situation, my baby will be 7 months for my SIL hen do which will be two nights although i could have stayed one. I have said no as i don’t think i’ll be ready to leave baby, and i don’t want pressure to need to do it if i agree now not knowing how i will be! You are 100% not unreasonable, 6 1/2 months is still so little! Plus they will have just entered the weaning phase which a totally new step, and you’ll likely want to be with them to see it’s going okay. Equally if you do feel ready to go, there’s nothing wrong with that either xx

@Sîan I’m also EBF, she’s had a bottle of expressed a handful of times but that’s it and unfortunately there’s no where nearby for my husband to stay or that would have been a good idea! thank you! xx

@Louisa this is what I’ve tried saying several times, it’s just too much pressure to make a definite decision and financially I don’t want to spend that much money on something I most likely won’t end up going to! Xx

My daughter was a bottle refuser too 🙃 even ignoring that though, if you don't regularly express and bottle feed it's a real chore to build up enough milk for the entire time you're away and then also pump those missed feeds! It's much different when they're well into solids and not BF as often. I've often said as well I'll make a decision closer to the time depending how we're getting on. My cousin got married abroad and it was child free and that was one we had to miss unfortunately, it just wasn't feasible but she completely understood and even didn't ask for a decision until a month before. If your SIL doesn't have children I can see why she might not understand why it's hard to make a decision. Your MIL however sounds a bit of a nightmare 🤦‍♀️ x