Sleepover at grandparents?

To start we've had little practical support. No one has ever had my lo for more than a couple of hours... other than nursery. My inlaws have only ever had my lo (now 4) for an hour tops alone. There's now talk of him sleeping over theirs (an hour drive away) Firstly it's a bit too little too late in my eyes. Secondly my partner agrees they would be unlikely to call us if there was an issue/problem/ lo was upset or wanted to come home. Lo only goes there maybe once a month for an afternoon and always his father stays.(I've created distance personally) I think lo would struggle to get to sleep and would wake in the night... and to be honest I would have to deal with the fall out the following day from the change in routine, overtiredness etc. We've been left to it and I've "sucked it up" fully embracing it's just us... and more often than not "just me" now I feel like potentially I'm about to be made out to be the bitch for not exactly embracing this.... Thoughts...

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Very similar to my own situation. Ultimately it comes down to what he and I feel comfortable with. If I felt anxious about it but he really wanted to, then I’d let him. If I’ve got hesitations and my son also doesn’t want to, then it’s an absolute no. It’s not a too late scenario for us, the door is always open for those that make an effort and just because it’s a no now it doesn’t mean it’s a forever no. But for those things to happen, for him to feel safe and settled, there needs to be more consistent involvement in my child’s life so that there’s more familiarity. Also, an hour away and being worried they won’t call me if he wants to come home?! Nah. Perhaps I’d need to do a family sleepover before I’d consider him staying there without us.

I'd maybe let him go during the day on his own for a while, to get him used to being in their company without his father there with him & see how that goes before an overnight stay happens.

Does he want to go?

@Ella we have to go visiting today and he doesn't want to go.

Personally that’s an easy no from me. If I felt in any way that they wouldn’t let me know if my LO had an issue in the night or wanted to come home then they’re not going in the first place.

Then no.

I think the only person to consider in this situation is the child. How any adults feel is irrelevant. I’d only let my child sleep over at my parents if they had a very close relationship and the child was genuinely excited or initiated it himself.

do not send your child over there lol. he doesn’t even want to go. so why even consider it? not to mention all the reasons you already gave. then on top, your husband (their own son) doesn’t even think he should go. a swift no lol

If the child asks unprovoked then sure, until then absolutely not.

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