Quit BFing or no? Missing my body and my life but feel guilty
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Only you can make this decision. Yes, breast milk is best BUT your mental health is so important. You can’t pour from an empty cup so you need to take care of yourself too. In terms of tiredness are you taking vitamin supplements? It might be worth going to check your bloods and make sure your not low on anything that’s making you more tired than you should be. I haven’t found breastfeeding makes me more tired (just the lack of sleep zzz). For the weight, I’ve found it harder to shift weight with second baby and I’m much heavier. Sounds like it’s your second too. It will take time for your body to heal, it’s done an amazing job of growing your baby and will take time for you to feel yourself again but you will get there (I’m also waiting to feel more like me too!).
I would suggest meeting with a lactation consultant! They can work with you on understanding your output. I will say that your body will only make what you need, so if you all are doing half formula, then your body will only make half of your baby's milk needs for the day. Are you all pace feeding when you give a bottle? Are you having to pump to put BM in those bottles, because that's a lot! The first few months are absolutely exhausting, but around 3 months was really when it got better. However, if you feel it's a normal talk to your provider! Remember three months ago you birthed a baby! It takes a full year for our bodies to heal from childbirth and it took 9 months to grow your little one, I know you don't feel comfortable in your body right now, but you just did an amazing thing and it might take a little bit(not forever) for it to heal up. It's highly recommended that we don't try to lose weight before our baby's are 6 months
,it's been 3 months too and i have to pump since she doesn't latch. I am giving myself 6months. Si 3more to go..tbh, she is already bit doing well with breastmilk, i don't wanna have to deal with spit ups or allergies..it will make me so guilty. So i push until she is 6months and i am building à freezer supply for a couple more months and that's it.
I don't think you're not producing enough. Pumping is absolutely not an accurate feel of how much you're producing. I've breastfed my two for a very long time and was never able to express much. That being said, reading you, it seems like you want to stop and your decision has more or less been taken? I have no advice on what to do as only you can decide. Mum guilt is real and hard to deal with. We all get it! Good luck! x
@Feriel how do you know she will have those issues?
Obviously, do what works for you but if I can add my two pence… Firstly, I found after the 3-4 month mark, it was less intense and less frequent, and that helped a lot with feeling like your body is someone else’s. Secondly, I found that because I was lacking sleep my brain was telling me I need to eat constantly for energy, but even after I’ve eaten I still felt hungry. I realised it’s actually because of the lack of sleep, and prioritising rest really helped. Along with taking a multi vitamin, and preparing healthy snacks to grab quickly. Breastfeeding helped me lose weight, once I sorted out the constant craving for fatty and sugary snacks!! My advice would be to take it one week at a time, every single day of breastfeeding is an incredible achievement, and if today is the day to stop then you’ve already done so much good, and should be proud.
What makes you think you're not getting enough? What babe can take from the bottle isn't an indication of what they need. Bottles are far easier to feed from and they can very much over feed, which could be the reason for the spit ups. Put baby to boob as often as they want. Switch sides when they're done with the first side. Think of your breasts like rivers instead of lakes, there's always something available. The next thing you'll need to be mindful of is the 3-4 month fussies. Our breasts transition from "instant availably" to "baby you've got to work for it now" baby will fuss at the breast during this time. You'll just need to persevere. The best thing I'd heard someone say is to quit on a good day. You'll likely feel less guilt because of it. Try to prioritise rest over all things. Sleep when baby is sleeping, day, night all the time. The housework can wait.
@Kirsten i know I don’t get enough because we supplement about 12 oz roughly per day. We have frozen milk from a donor or we sometimes use formula. I take 12-16 oz out each night to unthaw for the next day. If there is a day that i only pump, then I express about 20-24 oz. When we use bottles only he eats 30-32 oz. When I BF, eventually my boob get empty and I know it’s not ever 100% empty but there always a point where it’s not full anymore he just cries and stops wanting to try. I know i can keep him on the boob to increase but the issue always became then he was just on the boob until forever and it felt like i was constantly sitting and not getting things done and i just am done with that. I like doing a bottle because I can get his feed over with, he can go to his bouncer or the carrier and i can get stuff done. I think accepting i was an under producer and supplementing is what has made me last this long but now I’m just kinda over breastfeeding but I’m also over pumping :/
Mumma, just because baby takes it from a bottle, doesn't mean you have a low supply. That's absolutely not an indication of low supply and I'm sorry someone made you feel like that.
@Kirsten another issue is he’s good at night sleeping but he doesn’t nap during the day like at all unless he’s being held so i can’t even sleep during the day at all when watching him. Plus usually awake by 7:30/8am for our toddler anyways to get her ready for daycare and it’s hard to go back to sleep after that. Baby goes to bed between midnight and 1am so on a good night i get about 6-7 hours (1am - 8am) of sleep but i am high sleep needs and I really am needing 8-9 hours to function better. :/ it’s been okay on 6 hours but as the months go on it’s really affecting my mental health and I am leaning towards trying to make it to the week before returning to work and then just quitting :(
I do want to add if you are pumping 20-24 ozs in a day, then you are definitely producing enough. Babies normally only need around 24 ozs of breastmilk, no later their age(as the composition changes over time) You've made it through 3 months which is amazing no matter what you decide to do!
@Eleanor yes, this. If you're pumping too, supply isn't an issue. Pumping also isn't an indication of supply. Sometimes babies act hungry when they've got reflux as well, because the feeding sooths the pain. Baby might also just want the cuddles and closeness.
I quit for my mental health at week 2. Her latch was hurting me so bad. We use Bobbie formula and I wouldn’t go back. I felt guilty for weeks after. And I even went to therapy about it. I’m 5% regret and then I remember how awful I felt pumping and breastfeeding. Feeling exhausted. How I felt so uncomfortable and in pain with my shoulders and neck and nipples. I’m just saying that 100% isn’t bad. But I completely understand the guilt. I’m so much more happier. Less anxious about quantity. Not as tired. And my partner can help with the feeds. Spit up could be from how fast he is taking in and not burping. You need to burp a lot more with formula. I use gentle release organic Bobbie formula. I also keep her vertical for 10 minutes after a feed. Maybe it’s the nipple flow. We use size 1 with dr browns narrow nipple bottles