Crying to sleep

I lift my wee man I can't stand the sound of him crying it breaks me in two 💔💔💔

@Emma it really does! I don’t understand these ‘older generation’ advice like so much has changed now

It sounds like you don't need to be doing this if your current method of comforting her to sleep works for you! We did some sleep training (Ferber, rather than just cry it out) but it's because nothing we did in the night seemed to soothe her and it took forever to get her to sleep. But if you enjoy co sleeping and she sleeps and feeds well I wouldn't do something that's causing both of you so much upset! No adult is still being breastfed to sleep FFS obviously she will learn to go to sleep on her own when the time is right!

I definitely feel it's down to how you feel, the circumstances and the situation. This is my second and he's never been in a cot. Since day one I have co-slept and I love it. We don't plan to have more, so fully enjoying it, when/if he has a moan in the night. I'm right there, I just lay my hand on him and he stops. We go back to sleep. However my first, went through the worse 4 month sleep regression, where she was crying/waking every 40mins, every single night for at least 4-5weeks. It was very much breaking point. Where nothing was working, even cuddling and with her I did the Ferber method and it worked well. Wasn't exactly "cry it out" we just had 2mins would go in pat her. Which I only had to do twice, for 2nights. I feel it's how you feel, you need to be comfortable. Every person will give their 2cents. Whether you want it or not. You'll know what's best and if it works for you than carrying on doing what you're doing x

I cuddle my little one when she cries…breaks my heart seeing her sad and the big tears rolling down her face 🥹 I was told by my midwife you can’t spoil a baby with cuddles so I just don’t listen when people say you’ll make her clingy etc. I have a routine that works for us now and she is happy. X

Thanks guys all these comments make me feel so much better. People always say I’ll end up with a mardy bum but as a single mum I want my daughter to know that she can trust me with anything and I’m always there even though she is only six months, I want her to know if she can trust me.

Listen to your instincts and ignore everyone else, you know it's not right, your body is literally screaming at you that it's not right. You are doing the right thing by responding to your baby 💕 Imo there are several things wrong with leaving a baby to cry. But also at 6 months a lot of babies calories can be from night feeds. It's not recommended to night wean before 18 months. Babies (and mums) cosleeping, it's the natural thing to do. You mention going back to work in march and how it's not that long away, but trust me, when you're talking about the development of a baby, 3 months is a long time and things will likely be very different by then, and even if they aren't, babies are adaptable. What's your child care situation like for work? I'd recommend joining a breastfeeding support group if you can. You'll get a chance to talk about all these things with other breastfeeding mums that have been through it before and can offer you reassurance and advice. https://laleche.org.uk/find-lll-support-group/

@Charlotte as of the moment I’m unsure for childcare as my shift are 2pm-10pm. As of the moment my only options for people looking after baby would be my mum and/or my mums best friend(due to my mum getting out of work between 1-2pm), this is because i do not trust baby dad at all…. (He does drugs so more than likely wouldn’t be sober when having baby)

That's really hard then, especially if they are the people telling you to leave them to cry. I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my baby with someone that is telling me to leave them to cry. But honestly 3 months is way off. Maybe you can get your shifts altered when the time comes, or a different job altogether?

@Charlotte it is 🥲 my mum and her best friend are the ones who have said to let her ‘cry it out’ and just leave her so I don’t really wanna leave baby with them as I know what they will do to her 😩 when it comes to work I want to leave the job I’m in at the moment anyway as I don’t like it. I wanted to leave around a year ago but found out I was pregnant so I couldn’t as I needed the maternity pay

Do what works for you! Me and my husband are totally against crying it out and we were also against Co sleeping now we fall asleep with him on one of us quite often (about to be 6m) and then he goes in his cot once he’s fully asleep or when he’s finished on the boob and settled but some nights he will be on us for hours in fact as I’m writing this he is asleep on my husband next to me after being so unsettled due to teething and having a cold. At the end of the day you can only do what works for you both while being as safe as you possibly can. For the people who believe it makes them clingy they should also read up on the studies that show letting babies cry it out can lead to anxiety later on so I don’t personally see the win there 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’ve also learned that as parents you feel guilty no matter what you do and there will always be that unwelcome advice so don’t be so hard on yourself we are all learning together and can only do our best! X

Omg my MIL told me the exact same thing! I HATE the cry it out recommendation. It causes more damage than good. Your baby falls asleep with you because she knows she’s safe! The minute you start making her cry it out that safety she feels with you will start to tarnish. The reason she’s crying (imo) is because she wants comfort in her mama. She wants to know you’ll come back. My LB is formula fed (no hate please. It’s been a journey) and used to fall asleep on the bottle. We’ll put him down and he’ll babble a bit but the minute he starts whinging or crying I’m there so he knows when he feels he needs me I’ll be there. And that’s how I want him to feel through all stages of life… which sounds very similar to you! You know your baby best! So if you want to ignore those comments the do! If you want to ever rant about it I’ll be up to listen! But if you also find comfort in nursing her to sleep don’t let anyone ruin that! She’s only little once! And by being “clingy” she’ll love her mama

Keep doing what you’re doing! You don’t have to make any changes unless you want to. I coslept with my first baby and I’m cosleeping with this one. The evidence shows that giving them support and comfort now breeds independence later. I was worried when my eldest started nursery and going to my parents’ when I was working as she only fed to sleep on me, but they rock/sing/take her for a walk in the pram/rub her back etc and she goes to sleep. She’s 3 now and I recently found out she just curls up on a mat at nursery and goes to sleep by herself, I was shocked!! 😂 She still wants to be cuddled at home, but we’re happy to do that 🥰 they’re only little for a little while.

Also, a good phrase when people offer unsolicited advice is “thank you for your advice, but what we’re doing works for us right now” and normally shuts down the conversation 😊